Getting Close

The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. Psalm 145:18 NLT

Relationships are built. Love too. But love takes a lifetime.

She worked one office over from me. Little did I know she was on the way out of a decade-long abusive relationship. When I discovered she would soon be available, I began planning how I would woo her. As it turned out, I didn’t have to do much wooing—she took care of it. She baked goodies for me—ones she was trying to sell to raise enough money for her down payment on a necessary surgery. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach—and she marched right in.

Less than two years later, we were married. That was almost twelve years ago, and I love her more today than I did then. She is my best friend, my supporter, and my greatest cheerleader. Where I go, she goes, and where she goes, I follow. We are still working on getting closer and building our love.

According to the psalmist, God is only a whisper away from those who call on Him. We must come by way of confession and repentance initially, but thereafter He wants to be involved in every detail of our lives. And will if we’ll ask.

Building a love relationship with God takes a lifetime—just as it does with my wife and any other important person in my life. If I take the relationship for granted, it will turn sour, lose its vibrancy, and eventually grow cold. As I nurture my relationship with my wife, so I must do the same with my connection to God.

Talking to God is essential. If I never talked to my wife, things would go south in short order. Pray without ceasing was the apostle Paul’s advice. God is with me all the time; I just need to be aware of His presence, ask His advice, and seek His direction.

Occasionally, I’ll write my wife a love poem. She loves them, and I always get a big hug and sloppy kiss. God also wrote a love letter He wants me to be intensely familiar with. Time in His Word is vital in building a love relationship with Him. His Word instructs, warns, encourages, and comforts. All things a love letter should accomplish.

God wants to get close to You; He’s merely waiting for the invitation.

Ditching Discouragement

I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are discouraged take heart.
Psalm 34:2 NLT

After thirteen years of marriage, her discouragement had reached a new low.

Michelle married as soon as she could. She was looking for a way out and found one in a relationship with a young man her parents disliked. She wasn’t interested in their opinions; she wanted to escape. As soon as she could, she married.

Soon after the wedding, Michelle discovered her mistake. She had married a loser. He migrated from one job to another. Had it not been for her job and her parent’s help, they would have drowned financially. Worse yet, he was an abuser: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Throwing objects at Michelle and hitting her in places where the bruises wouldn’t show was her husband’s normal pattern. He topped this off with a continual barrage of insulting remarks, belittling her while building himself up. And he never supported her spiritual pursuits.

After thirteen years of misery, Michelle was depressed and discouraged. She feared he’d kill her if she left, but she didn’t see how she could stay. Finally, she mustered the courage to leave. While he was at work, she packed her things and headed to her parents’ home. One year later, her divorce was final and she soon married a man who gave her the love and respect she deserved.

According to the psalmist, Michelle went to the right place with her discouragement: the Lord. Now she boasts in what God did for her. She tells people she married the devil the first time but an angel the second time. I don’t feel like an angel, but I’ll take the compliment.

Instances that can lead to discouragement are the bane of living in a sinful world. While there have been a number of occasions when I’ve slipped into discouragement, I choose not to live there. Because I believe God controls my circumstances, I choose to see them differently than I would have had I no one to turn to.

God never allows us into potentially discouraging times without a purpose in mind. What could discourage me can also mold me more into God’s image as well as prepare me for something He has in mind for me. Facing tough times also gives me ammunition to help others who may be passing through similar experiences as I have faced.

Don’t waste your discouragement–but don’t live with it either. Ditch it.

To Forgive…or Not

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin,
so that we could be made right with God through Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:21 NLT

To forgive or not to forgive, that is life’s dilemma.

Mickey had faced a lot in life. He’d had to forgive his first wife for walking out on him. So he wasn’t prepared for the words his second wife pronounced one night in their bedroom: “I don’t love you anymore.”

Mickey’s world crumbled when he also learned his wife had been unfaithful to him. Containing his anger took all the strength he could muster. When his wife finally walked out, forgiveness was the last thing on his mind. When it became evident that the marriage was not salvageable, he had to make a choice: forgive her and move on or resent her and be miserable.

God’s choice was similar. He created humans, placed them in a garden where all their needs were met, and gave them one prohibition. Shortly thereafter, they failed the test. His choice was assigning them and their descendants a murky future or forgiving them and providing a way for their reconciliation. He chose a path of reclamation that was foreshadowed by the skins He secured to cover their nakedness.

Thousands of years later, Jesus became the ultimate sacrifice symbolized by those first animal skins. But why couldn’t God merely have forgiven without such a gruesome act of suffering as the cross demonstrated? The answer lies in the association between forgiveness and suffering. The first always encompasses the second.

Choosing to forgive entails suffering. If someone wrongs me and I choose not to forgive, resentment, hatred, anger, and plans for revenge will assume the place of forgiveness. I may think my refusal to forgive is hurting the other person, but I’m the one who suffers. Doing the opposite—forgiving, also contains an element of suffering.

My willingness to forgive automatically brings suffering because I’m releasing someone from a debt they owe me for a wrong they’ve committed against me. Doing so goes against my human nature and brings pain. Jesus showed how to do it well. God allowed Him to assume my sin so I could be given His righteousness. When I forgive others, I assume the pain they deserve to endure for hurting me.

God forgave because He loves. He gives us the power to do the same. Let Him teach you how to forgive those who’ve wronged you. Failing to forgive leads to a life of misery.

Seeing Clearly

There he came to a cave, where he spent the night.
But the Lord said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
1 Kings 19:9 NLT

None of us had ever experienced what we were about to.

Eight couples from our church traveled to a cabin in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, for a marriage retreat. My wife and I had stayed in several cabins over the years—some we enjoyed while others were misrepresented by the rental agency. Not this one.

Our little convoy turned off the main road and ascended a narrow road until we reached Summit View Lodge—a four story cabin nestled on the side of a mountain. Everyone wanted to visit the top level to see the view. For 180 degrees, we saw nothing but mountain range folded upon mountain range. Our only obstructions were trees, smog, and low-hanging clouds.

Elijah had a sight problem as well, but trees, pollution, and clouds had nothing to do with it. He had defeated hundreds of pagan prophets on a mountaintop contest, but the wicked queen wasn’t pleased with his efforts. A 24-hour death sentence sent him running. His first stop was a broom tree where he asked God to take his life. Then he traveled to a cave where once again depression overcame him. In the midst of his despair, God helped him see clearly.

Fear, anxiety, and depression kept Elijah from seeing what God wanted to do in his life—just as clouds and smog kept us from seeing the totality of our mountain view. Adopting Elijah’s solution—running, is an easy escape point when things aren’t going our way or when I can’t see which way they are going at all.

Taking advantage of the abundant life Jesus offers requires a clear view—even when circumstances are against me. And this requires several steps which Elijah eventually took.

First, I must believe God is with me and is concerned. Elijah’s running was unnecessary. God could handle a wicked queen. Second, I must ask God to help me understand the situation fogging my sight. God gave understanding to Elijah in the cave. Third, I must accept my circumstances by faith. I won’t always understand what God is doing or why. Finally, I must release despondency to God. Discouragement and depression will only further cloud my vision. Releasing it by faith clears things up.

Regardless of what clouds your view, God can help you see clearly.